I'm Getting Married Without the Wedding

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage. Right? Well for some this childhood rhyme is true but for me life didn't go according to my childhood dreams. I fell in love young, got pregnant young and became a single mom young but now everything is changing. Three kids later and a strong, healthy relationship I'm finally getting my happily ever after with my beautiful family.

With life not going as planned my wedding plans  won't either but I couldn't be happier. Sure I could plan a beautiful wedding for the next year, make my bohemian wedding decor and scour the Internet for my dream wedding gown (I already found it) but now a life with children means I want to spend my money on them. The money I would have spent on a wedding and honeymoon is now collage funds for three beautiful children, its a safety blanket in case of hardship so we never have go without, it's clothing and toys they need or want. Instead of a big, extravagant wedding on my mind, my children's future is all is can think about and with that my life is complete without a fancy family get together to celebrate love because every day we celebrate love.
After a year of engagement we have decided to make things official on paper and this entails the court house wedding for me. For the longest time I thought a big, beautiful wedding was my dream but now many years later I realize the wedding itself wouldn't make my dream come true, it was finding true love, a man who I don't want to live without. Now that I found my prince charming everything else is just a addition, as long as I say "I do" to the wonderful man I call my love my dreams have come true. 
In the future I may end up with my bohemian, hippie barefoot wedding in a forest with flower vines hanging from the trees. I may wear my simple, yet elegant full length eggshell colored gown with lace sleeves and buttons up the back as seen renew our vowels. One day my daddy will walk my down the aisle with tears to say he's proud of me for fighting for love that doesn't come easy; until then I will love the day I get to sign my name with the man I love to say "I'll love you forever". 

Alyssa Waters


Marya Mann said...

I love this. It's such a powerful message and so caring and so much love toward your family as a whole. You deserve that happiness and I am so glad you have it ��

Carmen Rudnick said...

How awesome!! Congrats! If I could turn back time, I'd totally do a courthouse wedding or just go to Vegas and have it at the Stratosphere like I wanted. I hanged my mind and planned a local wedding in 3 months Bc family couldn't go. Never had money for a honeymoon either :( Totally go with what works best for you and your family and I totally understand sending all your money on your kids! They are why I'm broke but I love it! Lol

Momgaroo said...

I'm so happy you have found real love. I super love your article since I can relate to it. My story its a little bit different but exactly the same in the way of not getting the wedding.
I was 31 when I met who nowis my husband and inmediately I knew he was the one and also he knew I was the one in his life. We talked about living together and having 5 kids and travel, haha. We were very excited about the moments we would built in our future, then I had to moved to USA to get married with him, there was no other way to keep the relationship from distance and I thought that I would have a wedding, we never talked about it but I assumed it would be like that. Nope, we were just getting married in paper because there was no other way to do it according our plans. He did not want to do it, he just did it because there was no ther way. For a long time a thought that maybe he didn't love me and that got me so confused. i was alone with out my family since they were in other country so I couldn't even invite them to the court house. Yes, we got married but it was really akward, he did not talked or express any emotion. I did not have a ring so the jugge share his with us as a representation and we gave it back to him. I did not have a special clothing for that occasion, he went in his work clothes and I just wore somethung casual, I dis not want to make him feel more unconfortable. And we did not have a photographer so The secretary took so,e pictures with my phone. For years and years I thought he did not love me, we were fighting constantly until after 5 years I was almost to get divorce. Things happened in that time that proof me that he really loves me and more than I expected. Now that I kmow what I have "real love" that's the most important thing in a relationship and you know that were you two have to go through dificult times and besides that you forgive, you give a change, you try again and go forward to make the relationship better and better. This is a subject which I learned so much that would love to teach others that we shouldn't go after the fake shinny things like a bug wedding in case is not in your budget, there are more important things to think wisely like what you did, you are having your dream come throught but at the same time you think about what you really reallt want and your kids are first. That's true love! Congratulations Alyssa! Please post some pictures and everything!!! With Love, Veronica

Jen G said...

I love this! Big extravagant weddings are overrated! When your a mom your childs entire life is your entire life and when I get married it will be a city hall wedding and maybe dinner with our closest friends and family!