My Bakery is Closed for Life: When all the "lasts" start sinking in

The conversation about having more babies came to discussion the other day with my husband and we made our final verdict, my bakery is closed for life. My body gave life to three beautiful children, I couldn't ask for anything more rewarding than the late night snuggles, teaching each one of them to walk & talk but sadly even the greatest moments come to an end and become wonderful  &unforgettable memories. 

I am happy with our decision to stop at three children. All my life I had always said I would only have two children, a boy & then a girl. Growing up I dreamed about my little boy beating up the boys who tried to hit on his sister or the boys she tried to bring home. When my first born was in fact a boy & my little girl came second I thought to myself & some times out loud "The universe must be telling me something" in a jokingly manner but it's not often you get exactly what you hope for since there is not magic button you can push when determining the sex of your child so the universe must have been listening to me all those years before having children. Then came my surprise baby number three.
During my last pregnancy throughout the entire 10 months (yes its really 10 months) I kept repeating "this is the last time, never again, no more babies" but once she was born my views on having another child in the future began changing thanks to the crazy mama hormones. The other day we finally had the "talk" and both came the conclusion that my bakery is closed for business, no more muffins in my oven. 

While laying in bed, being happy with our final decision I began to think about how this is the last time I get to experience the sweet dependent baby. I will never experience holding my new born baby for the first again, no more first bath, no more trying to get the perfect latch because I decided to breastfeed. There will never be the over excitement when my baby decides to take of crawling for the first time.
As I look into the future I try to remind myself that all those firsts won't be the last ones, I will still get the first school dance, the first day of school, the first date, & many more firsts that come with motherhood. Closing the door to pregnancy doesn't mean the ending of me being a mother, I will always have children who will need comforting even when they have babies of their own. One day I will be sharing all the "first" stories with them as they raise their own bundles of joy and giving them advice on how to handle the overwhelming moments of parenthood.


How did you feel when you decided to not have any more children?

Alyssa Waters

1 comment:

Amber Ludwig said...

I haven't decided yet. But I want one so badly and my hubby keeps saying no... it makes me so sad!! I secretly hate all pregnant people purely out of selfish jealously lol :/ Im sure I'll be all upset when I decide to not have anymore!